Conflicts in Romantic Relationships: A Literature Review

Conflicts in Romantic Relationships A Literature ReviewAmanda BjorkConflict. We all acquaintance passage of armss, arguments, or foments in our lives and in our affinitys. It is present for and affects everyone, whether they have have platonic, intimate, close, friendly, or other types of relationships. Conflict exists whether someone is fifteen or fifty five long time of age, but what does change argon the topics causing the encounter. Conflicts within amatory relationships can lead to yelling, tears, hurt feelings, and sometimes even broken things, including broken hearts. Understanding the topics of contradict within romantic relationships is important because people sometimes express their frustrations as a way to produce a desired change to meet their own(prenominal) take aims within the relationships. My own relationships have brought this to my attention. I have started fights because I want something to change, because I wasnt happy with how things were. Disagreement s and bookings are inevitable, but vital to the organic evolution of any relationship. According to Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D (2007), disagreements will occur in any intimate relationship because it just isnt realistic (or possible) for two people to have the resembling expectations, ideas, needs, and/or opinions all of the time. Successfully resolving these relational disagreements is crucial for the development and continuance of all successful relationships. It is essential to ponder the topics of argument and then affair management within relationships since literally everybody is involved in and needs relationships in one way or another. If we can better recognize the topics that create divergence within relationships, we could theoretically decrease the amount of conflict that is present and thus increase relationship satisfaction overall.Guerrero et al. (2001) have identified conflict to be a disagreement between two interdependent people who believe th at they have dissenting goals. Conflict plays a very significant role within romantic relationships. Not only does it potentially affect the duration of said relationship, but also the level of satisfaction each person has within that relationship. Julia T. Wood (2007) utter that conflict affects the power dynamic between couples by forcing them to negotiate and renegotiate the extent to which they share power. Guerrero et al. (2001) also said that close, romantic relationships that are devoid of conflict are rare, unrealistic, and highly extraordinary. Essentially, relationships just cannot exist without some kind of conflict. In truth, satisfied couples are more than likely to discuss issues of discrepancy, whereas discontented couples are more likely to abate or elude conflict (Guerrero et al., 2001). Even though conflict is so prevalent in relationships, very few scholars have really done significant research on the subject (Walker, 2000). The dark side of meat of relationsh ips, that much of the research refers to, is generally considered to be the bad things fighting, disagreement/arguments, and conflict. It is very intemperate to understand conflict within relationships and how to manage it since scholars have not yet completely broken into the realm of interpersonal conflicts. Guerrero et al. state, the need to examine the dark side of close relationships is more important than focusing on the positive aspects of interpersonal relationships. Walker goes on to say that studies have a Pollyanna-like perspective which only highlights that individuals need to be open, honest, polite, and attractive in relationships, while ignoring other negative relational dynamics. As Walker also states, conflict is just as essential (and common) in relationships as the positive aspects, thus creating validity and the necessity to cultivate a better understanding of the topics that people fight about in relationships (Walker, 2000).There are not many things in this wo rld that are more communicative than emotions can be. A rapidly growing body of research indicates that the transition from casual dating to serious commitment is marked by intensified emotions, increased emotional jealousy, greater reactivity to conflict and uncertainty, and more negative appraisals of irritations (Theiss Soloman, 2006). The first fight a couple might have may occur at this point in their relationship progress, the beginning. The couples who dissolved their relationship after the first monstrous fight reported having been feeling chaotic or ambiguous about their relationship as a whole (Guerrero et al., 2001). Accordingly, the collaborators who stayed together gained a greater acquaintance of their emotional state with regards to each other, felt like they were well suited to problem solve together, and were assured that both would be willing to make sacrifices for the relationship/each other. Guerrero et al. (2001) estimated that most romantic couples have so mewhere between 1-3 disagreements per week, of which 1 or 2 disagreements each month is particularly unpleasant. Additionally, couples who are dissatisfied often experience 5.4 incidences of conflict over a 5-day period. Guerrero et al. (2001) state that most disagreements are related to the fair division of crime syndicate labor, jealousy and possessiveness, sex, money and possessions, the social profit (including families), and children. More research has shown that work has an effect on relationships, including unearthing stressors much(prenominal) as low support from partners, the amount of time devoted to relationship activities, and even issues such potential children and their ages/names (Cinamon, 2006). In addition, partners might complain about the amount of time spent together and justify engaging in infidelities (Guerrero et al., 2001). Arguments about sex, household chores, money, jealousy, possessions, social media, the future, and children are of course not the lon e or single sources of disagreement that couples can experience, but they tend to be the most frequent types of conflict within intimate and romantic relationships.After distinguishing what types of conflict can arise, it is particularly important to also understand that there are different levels of conflict as well. Guerrero et al. (2001) claim that there are four levels of conflict. As defined by Guerrero et al. (2001), the first conflict level is when couples argue about specific, concrete behaviors such as how to specifically clean the kitchen. The second level of conflict is when couples argue about relational rules and norms such as working late without informing your partner or forgetting your significant others birthday or anniversary (Guerrero et al., 2001). Thirdly, Guerrero et al. define the third level of conflict to be when partners argue about their varying constitution traits. Finally, the fourth level of conflict is when couples argue about the process of conflict itself, otherwise known as metaconflict. This may also include accusing your partner of pouting, nagging, throwing a temper tantrum, not listening, or fighting unfairly (Guerrero et al., 2001).In conclusion, the research reviewed in this literature review has suggested that conflict within relationships occurs very commonly and in nearly all relationships. We can assume that the volume of couples involved romantically will experience 1-3 disagreements per week (Guerrero et al., 2001). These studies also suggest that a majority of arguments among couples are a product of money, sex, household duties, jealousy, social media, the future, and children. Additionally, the research demonstrated four levels of conflict, which can be alleviated once the topics are identified and conflict management employed.ReferencesCinamon, R. (2006). Anticipated work-family conflict effects of gender, self-efficacy, and family background. Career Development Quarterly, 54(6), 202-216.Gere, J. U. (2013). When Romantic Partners Goals Conflict Effects on Relationship Quality and Subjective Well-Being. Journal of delight Studies, 14(1), 37-49.Guerrero, L., Andersen, P. (2001).Close Encounters Communicating in Relationships. Mountain View, Calif. Mayfield Pub.Keener, E., Strough, J., DiDonato, L. (2012). Gender Differences and Similarities in Strategies for Managing Conflict with Friends and Romantic Partners. Sex Roles, 67(1/2), 83-97.Mackinnon, S.P., Sherry, S.B., Antony, M.M., Stewart, S. H., Sherry, D. L., Hartling, N. (2012). Caught in a bad romance Perfectionism, conflict, and depression in romantic relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(2), 215-225.Segal, J., Jaffe, J. (2007). Conflict Resolution Skills. Retrieved February 10, 2015 from http//www.helpguide.org/mental/EQ8_conflict_resolution.htmlTheiss, J. A., Solomon, D. H. (2006). A relational turbulence model of communication about irritations in romantic relationships.Communication Research,33(5), 391-418.Walker , K. (2000). The Dark stead of Close Relationships. The Southern Communication Journal, 65(4), 340-342.Wood, J. (2007).Gendered Lives Communication, Gender, and Culture. Belmont, Calif. Wadsworth Pub.